I Hate Twilight — 8

We were sitting in the living room watching Jennifer’s Body, when I heard something stir upstairs—Dammit, Edward was still in my room. I sprang from the sofa and made for the stairs.
“Phoebe, are you OK?” Jacob asked trying to catch me.
“Edward... room... bastard... stuff... move,” I said in a rush, as Jacob looked confused.
Carmen said, “Edward is still in her room, and the bastard is moving her stuff.” She looked at me to see if she got it right. I nodded quickly and ran up the flight of stairs.
I nearly tore the door off its hinges, to find Edward looking through my things. He had my iPod in his hand, looking through my songs. No one ever touches my iPod. It’s my baby, my life. I launched myself towards Edward.
“Mine!” I said as I grabbed my iPod. “It’s OK now, mummy’s here, you’re safe. Shh... mean ol’ sparkle Barbie can’t get you now,” I whispered to my iPod, stroking it.
Carmen, Jacob and Edward all looked at me strangely, but I just shrugged my shoulders.
“You know what I am?” Edward asked me, fearing the answer.
“Yes. A vampire, and Jacob, you’re a shape shifter,” I said in a dead and bored tone.
Jacob glared at Carmen as he let her go and walked over to me. He placed his hands on my shoulders in a gentle grip, lowering his head so were face to face.
“Who told you?” he questioned in a gentle and almost loving voice.
“Nobody, I just figured it out myself.” They all looked at me, waiting for me to continue. “Well, my real mum was fascinated by mythical beings like vampires, werewolves and so on, and told me how to spot one just by looking at it,” I lied. The losers believed me.
Jacob let me go slowly, and went back to Carmen’s side. I felt Edward embrace me to his chest.
“Let me go, sparkle Ken, RIGHT NOW!” I bellowed, trying to get out of his arms.
“But what if I want you to be my Barbie?” Edward said, playfully kissing my ear, making me thrash about. I looked to Jacob for help me, but the dickhead was already gone, and I couldn’t see Carmen anywhere.
“I am so relieved you don’t care that I’m a vampire. I love you, and I’m never letting you go. Ever,” Edward said this in a dangerously certain and a sort of triumphant voice.
I froze. He was never going to leave me alone. He will never let me love whom I wanted to love. I was doomed. I needed to think of something. There was no way I’ll anyone’s Barbie. I don’t even like pink!